So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
