that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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