toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
