I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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