No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
