Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
