This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
