i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
