here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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