she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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