I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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