whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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