hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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