I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
