I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
