It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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