I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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