You made me cry and you don't even care
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
