Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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