Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize