THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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