Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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