is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize