they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
