He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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