Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
