i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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