Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
