can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize