i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
