You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
