hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
