i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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