the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
