did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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