just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
