Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
