I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize