we're blogging at a bar
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
