There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
