i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My ATM looks so different sober.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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