I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
