Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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