dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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