How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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