Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
