Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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