Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is Oprah even human
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
