i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
