Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
