He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
