How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Randomize
