Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
