I CAN MOONWALK!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
