He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
