So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
