Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize