The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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