I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Help. Why am I so naked?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
